19th July 91
Brought into this world of fantasy, this world of love, this world of adventures
MeridianJc
ex-tAnj0ngKat0nGsec student. Really proud of being from TK.
my life is full of up and down.





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Monday, November 16, 2009

feeling quite down,
feeling quite stupid
feeling quite unsuccessful
feeling uber phail.
feeling useless
feeling hopelessness.
feeling lonely
feeling emo ttm.

wheres everyone else?
im living in my own world?
theres no one around me?
tormented world of solitude?
no one messaged me
no one talked to me
it felt like im dead.
am i?
if i am, hmmm,
isit a good thing or not?

maybe its exam.
but its too abnormal
i dont want this life.
where did u go?
i cant live properly without u.
where?
that emo corner to squat?
cant find.
say something!
argh.

did something happened?
please dont ignore me.
damn it.
i'll end my life, will it help?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

i knew this will happen one day.
no matter which day, now or months later
im quite certain what i hear will be the same

i know i should not lie to u
but i know if i had told u the truth,
u will feel maybe quite speechless
then duno how to react
then our bonds will be broken until quite bad.
i really dun wan to lose u.
i hope i dun mind being jus a good friend.
and a goooooood fren.

probably my lie,
makes things better,
whether u believed me or not
im not very sure.
i hav been thinking maybe u alrdy know that im lying,
but wan me to make the decision.
well i decided to lie,
so that everything remains as it is.
and u and i will not lose a good and great friend.

i've been trying
trying to get close,
to make u feel my presence
however, it was futile,
not totally futile,
at least u see me as a great companion,
rather than anything more than that.
i guess i'll hav to accept it,
i know im not good enough,
i know i will fall for u
and i know its near impossible that u will fall for me back
but now i know ur answer,
i probably just hide under my blanket
reflect for awhile and drop a few tears
like what i did a few years back
day after day,
it will begone.

hopefully it does.
maybe its not something great
that should make me so quite sad.

i've got greater thing to be concerned about
but neither can i neglect my own life.

i hate to say this
but its actually 'yes'.

maybe this scorching dry land need my tears

to replenish the dry lakes

to extinguish the wildfires.
i shall just take a deep breath.
and absorb all my sadness
and bottle them up.
until one day,
i become insane.

that's when i'll commit suicide.
after i perform limit break.

hope.
in this land.
is so limited.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

it is today. 13oct.

your day.

probably the day,

that whatever been etched in my mind

be gone forever.

i hope.

my days are counting.

im dying soon.

helpless.

Monday, October 5, 2009

im not sure what im feeling.
that every word u said
makes me sadder each time.

and u turned away with just one phrase.
how was i supposed to react?
ur back was alrdy facing me.


im so foolish.

Monday, September 28, 2009

will i master it?

i hope i can..

its quite tough.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

im not trustworthy.

if it makes u happy.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

do some people really get irritated and annoyed that people keep sms-ing them?

i mean like there are people who wants to talk to u

people who want to ask u smth

share smth with u

be it their stories

or just some random crap, like 'roar' or 'boo'

they are good means to keep in touch.

i rather have many people to sms to

and of course still stay within my free sms limit ha.

then having no one to sms to.

i have quite a very limited number of people who i can spam sms to.

it can counted with one hand...

if it was last time.. hmmm..

depending on how long ago,

i'll probably will still have very limited no. that can be count with 1 hand also.

cos there is a plus minus zero number of people i can talk to.

for example,

the first two got replaced by two new faces.

the above example is only valid for year 2009 and later.

so i can say that year 2009 is the year that

probably made a change in my life.

be it slightest or a larger portion.

im always very enthusiastic to see who sms-ed me.

whenever i see' Mio-alert' or 'My Nokia'

i will sian diao.

but if its like people's names

i will be different reaction.

if i were to leave my phone alone for 1 week,

hopefully there will be

msgs from 3 different people

and a missed call.

im like living in quite a lonely world

so most of the time i'm throwing myself into the tormented world of solitude.

-.-

and so no one will want to talk to me.

No one understands me. lol.

i prolly never exceed my sms limit before.

its only 500.

should i feel sad or neutral?

cos i really didnt do much to that life.

how come u still on my fb friend list?

can u just delete me since u dun wan to reply me?

hai. :/

can a level just come.... i dun wan to do anymore difficult as prelim questions.

no much time left.

today no ktv to watch. next post ba. hav to find a suitable one.

.antisocial.

.past.

.thepeople.